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Captioning sponsored by
COMEDY CENTRAL
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>> SEPTEMBER 8, 2011, FROM
COMEDY CENTRAL'S WORLD NEWS
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COMEDY CENTRAL'S WORLD NEWS
HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK, THIS
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HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK, THIS
IS DALE DILL WITH JON STEWART.
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IS DALE DILL WITH JON STEWART.
-- THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH
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-- THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH
JON STEWART.
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JON STEWART.
["DAILY SHOW" THEME SONG
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["DAILY SHOW" THEME SONG
PLAYING]
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PLAYING]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY
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>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY
SHOW."
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SHOW."
MY NAME IS JON STEWART.
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MY NAME IS JON STEWART.
GOOD GUEST TONIGHT.
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GOOD GUEST TONIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MY GUEST TONIGHT -- MY GUEST
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MY GUEST TONIGHT -- MY GUEST
TONIGHT VERY TALENTED ACTRESS AS
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TONIGHT VERY TALENTED ACTRESS AS
IS, VERY TALENTED MARION
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IS, VERY TALENTED MARION
COTILLARD WHICH IS FRENCH FOR
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COTILLARD WHICH IS FRENCH FOR
MARION COTILLARD.
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MARION COTILLARD.
[ LAUGHTERç ]
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[ LAUGHTERç ]
[CLEARING THROAT]
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[CLEARING THROAT]
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]ç
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[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST
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WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST
FRAT PARTY TONIGHT EVER.
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FRAT PARTY TONIGHT EVER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
OBVIOUSLY THE PRESIDENT
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OBVIOUSLY THE PRESIDENT
DELIVERED HIS MUCH ANTICIPATED
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DELIVERED HIS MUCH ANTICIPATED
JOBS PLAN.
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JOBS PLAN.
WE'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT ON
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WE'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT ON
MONDAY WHEN YOU NO LONGER GIVE A
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MONDAY WHEN YOU NO LONGER GIVE A
(bleep).
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(bleep).
BUT, LET'S BEGIN TONIGHT WITH A
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BUT, LET'S BEGIN TONIGHT WITH A
STORY YOU CARED ABOUT LAST
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STORY YOU CARED ABOUT LAST
NIGHT.
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NIGHT.
THE REPUBLICAN JOBS PLAN RACE
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THE REPUBLICAN JOBS PLAN RACE
FOR THE WHITE HOUSE INDECISION
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FOR THE WHITE HOUSE INDECISION
2012 THE GREAT WHITE HOPE.
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2012 THE GREAT WHITE HOPE.
THE HAAJ TO THE RONALD REAGAN
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THE HAAJ TO THE RONALD REAGAN
PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY.
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PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY.
THEY SCARED OFF AGAINST THEIR
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THEY SCARED OFF AGAINST THEIR
MORTAL ENEMY MSNBC.
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MORTAL ENEMY MSNBC.
IT'S NOT LIKE MISS NEEB IS IS
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IT'S NOT LIKE MISS NEEB IS IS
GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO THEM.
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GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO THEM.
NO WAIT, DON'T START THE ENGINE,
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NO WAIT, DON'T START THE ENGINE,
NO-OOOO.
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NO-OOOO.
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?
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WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?
MADDOW!
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MADDOW!
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
OBVIOUSLY WE'RE STILL MONTHS
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OBVIOUSLY WE'RE STILL MONTHS
AWAY -- WE'RE MONTHS AWAY FROM
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AWAY -- WE'RE MONTHS AWAY FROM
THE PRIMARY AND CAKOUSES IT'
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THE PRIMARY AND CAKOUSES IT'
THE FIRST DEBATE OF FALL SEASON.
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THE FIRST DEBATE OF FALL SEASON.
MANY PEOPLE STARTING TO TUNE IN.
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MANY PEOPLE STARTING TO TUNE IN.
THE CANDIDATES ARE IN THE
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THE CANDIDATES ARE IN THE
PROCESS OF INTRODUCING THEM INTO
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PROCESS OF INTRODUCING THEM INTO
THE VOTERS.
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THE VOTERS.
>> I'M A MOM.
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>> I'M A MOM.
I'VE RAISED FIVE BIOLOGICAL KIDS
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I'VE RAISED FIVE BIOLOGICAL KIDS
AND 23 FOSTER KIDS.
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AND 23 FOSTER KIDS.
ONE THING I KNOW KIDS NEED --
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ONE THING I KNOW KIDS NEED --
>> LOVE, LOVE, STRONG PARENTING.
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>> LOVE, LOVE, STRONG PARENTING.
>> KIDS NEED JOBS.
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>> KIDS NEED JOBS.
>> Jon: JOBS?
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>> Jon: JOBS?
THE LESSON YOU LEARN AS A MOTHER
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THE LESSON YOU LEARN AS A MOTHER
IS THAT CHILDREN NEED
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IS THAT CHILDREN NEED
EMPLOYMENT.
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EMPLOYMENT.
SO THE 23 FOSTER CHILDREN YOU
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SO THE 23 FOSTER CHILDREN YOU
"TOOK IN" --
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"TOOK IN" --
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU
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WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU
BEGAN MANUFACTURING iPHONE
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BEGAN MANUFACTURING iPHONE
PARTS?
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PARTS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY 6:00 A.M.
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ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY 6:00 A.M.
GET YOUR ASSES DOWN TO THE
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GET YOUR ASSES DOWN TO THE
SAWLDERRING --ED SERRING ROOM I
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SAWLDERRING --ED SERRING ROOM I
MEAN CRAFT NOOK.
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MEAN CRAFT NOOK.
NOT A GOOD NIGHT AS EVEN HER
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NOT A GOOD NIGHT AS EVEN HER
PATRIOTIC BROACH HAD THOUGHTS
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PATRIOTIC BROACH HAD THOUGHTS
ABOUT HER ANSWERS.
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ABOUT HER ANSWERS.
I BELIEVE THAT IS THE FLAG PIN
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00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:16,261
I BELIEVE THAT IS THE FLAG PIN
EQUIVALENT OF [MAKING SCOOBY DOO
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EQUIVALENT OF [MAKING SCOOBY DOO
NOISES] HOW WOULD JON HUNTSMAN,
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NOISES] HOW WOULD JON HUNTSMAN,
THE SECOND MOST POPULAR, HAND
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THE SECOND MOST POPULAR, HAND
SOME MORMON EXGOVERNOR IN THE
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SOME MORMON EXGOVERNOR IN THE
FIELD.
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FIELD.
HOW WOULD HE DISTICK HIM
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00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:26,939
HOW WOULD HE DISTICK HIM
HIMSELF.
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HIMSELF.
>> THE PARTY IN THE STAGE IS IN
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>> THE PARTY IN THE STAGE IS IN
DANGER OF BECOMING ANTISCIENCE.
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DANGER OF BECOMING ANTISCIENCE.
WHO IS ANTISCIENCE?
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WHO IS ANTISCIENCE?
>> WHAT YOU MAKE COMMENTS THAT
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>> WHAT YOU MAKE COMMENTS THAT
FLY IN THE FACE OF WHAT 98
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FLY IN THE FACE OF WHAT 98
CLIMATE SCIENTISTS HAVE SAID,
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CLIMATE SCIENTISTS HAVE SAID,
WHEN YOU CALL INTO QUESTION
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WHEN YOU CALL INTO QUESTION
EVOLUTION, ALL I'M SAYING IS
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EVOLUTION, ALL I'M SAYING IS
THAT IN ORDER FOR THE REPUBLICAN
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THAT IN ORDER FOR THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY TO WIN, WE CAN'T RUN FROM
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PARTY TO WIN, WE CAN'T RUN FROM
SCIENCE.
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SCIENCE.
>> Jon: HOW CAN YOU DENY THE
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>> Jon: HOW CAN YOU DENY THE
SCIENCE OF EVOLUTION.
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SCIENCE OF EVOLUTION.
WITH MY SCIENCE ANSWER YOU JUST
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WITH MY SCIENCE ANSWER YOU JUST
SAW WE DISSOLVE INTO SOMEONE
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SAW WE DISSOLVE INTO SOMEONE
WITH NO CHANCE OF WINNING THE
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WITH NO CHANCE OF WINNING THE
REPUBLICAN NOMINATION.
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00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,042
REPUBLICAN NOMINATION.
THEY'LL NEVER ACCEPT IT.
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THEY'LL NEVER ACCEPT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
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[ LAUGHTER ]
CONGRESSMAN RON PAUL WHO IS
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00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,647
CONGRESSMAN RON PAUL WHO IS
SEEMINGLY KNOWING THAT HIS
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00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:12,317
SEEMINGLY KNOWING THAT HIS
OPPORTUNITIES TO TALK WOULD BE
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OPPORTUNITIES TO TALK WOULD BE
SCARCE.
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SCARCE.
>> THESE TSA AGENTS ARE ABUSIVE.
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>> THESE TSA AGENTS ARE ABUSIVE.
SOMETIMES THEY THEY ARE ACCUSEDF
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SOMETIMES THEY THEY ARE ACCUSEDF
ALL KINDS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITIES.
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ALL KINDS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITIES.
AIR CONDITIONING OUT OF GREEN
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AIR CONDITIONING OUT OF GREEN
ZEN, THE TROOPS NEED COME HOME.
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ZEN, THE TROOPS NEED COME HOME.
I COULD GET YOU A DMOON OF
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00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,701
I COULD GET YOU A DMOON OF
GASOLINE FOR A DIME.
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GASOLINE FOR A DIME.
WE COULD SECURE THE BORDERS A
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WE COULD SECURE THE BORDERS A
BARBED WIRE FENCE WITH MACHINE
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BARBED WIRE FENCE WITH MACHINE
GUNS.
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GUNS.
THAT WOULD DO THE TRUCK TRICK.
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THAT WOULD DO THE TRUCK TRICK.
-- DO THE TRICK.
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-- DO THE TRICK.
I DON'T BELIEVE THATyM IS WHAT
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I DON'T BELIEVE THATyM IS WHAT
AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT.I
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AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT.I
BELIEVE THIS FENCE BUSINESS IS
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BELIEVE THIS FENCE BUSINESS IS
DESIGNED TO KEEP US IN.
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DESIGNED TO KEEP US IN.
>> Jon: THIS IS WHY WE NEED
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>> Jon: THIS IS WHY WE NEED
THIS GUY IN THE RACE.
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THIS GUY IN THE RACE.
HE IS THE ONLY GUY IN ANY
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HE IS THE ONLY GUY IN ANY
POLITICAL PARTY WHO REALIZED AT
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00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,959
POLITICAL PARTY WHO REALIZED AT
SOME POINT WE MIGHT WANT TO
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00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,260
SOME POINT WE MIGHT WANT TO
SNEAKç INTO MEXICO.
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00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:59,097
SNEAKç INTO MEXICO.
I DON'T KNOW IF CONGRESSMAN
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I DON'T KNOW IF CONGRESSMAN
PAUL --
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00:04:59,433 --> 00:04:59,831
PAUL --
[ LAUGHTER ]
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00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,099
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW IF HE SHOULD BE
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00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,801
I DON'T KNOW IF HE SHOULD BE
PRESIDENT OR HAVE ANY KIND OF
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00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,037
PRESIDENT OR HAVE ANY KIND OF
POWER, BUT I LIKE HIM AS OUR
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00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:05,737
POWER, BUT I LIKE HIM AS OUR
IDEA GUY.
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00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,339
IDEA GUY.
HE GENERATES A LOT OF IDEAS.
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HE GENERATES A LOT OF IDEAS.
HE COULD BE LIKE AMERICA'S
145
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:10,008
HE COULD BE LIKE AMERICA'S
KRAMER.
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KRAMER.
DO WE REALLY WANT TO LISTEN TO
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00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,712
DO WE REALLY WANT TO LISTEN TO
EIGHT DIFFERENT PEOPLES IDEAS.
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00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,747
EIGHT DIFFERENT PEOPLES IDEAS.
THERE'S A SIMPLER METHOD OF
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00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,482
THERE'S A SIMPLER METHOD OF
VIEWING THIS AUDITION FOR THE
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00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,052
VIEWING THIS AUDITION FOR THE
MOST POWERFUL JOB IN THE
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00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:20,919
MOST POWERFUL JOB IN THE
COUNTRY.
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00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,422
COUNTRY.
>> PERRY VERSUS ROMNEY, G.O.P.
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00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:23,989
>> PERRY VERSUS ROMNEY, G.O.P.
DEBATE.
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00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,892
DEBATE.
>> HOW HOT DOES IT GET BETWEEN
155
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,226
>> HOW HOT DOES IT GET BETWEEN
RICK PERRY AND MITT ROMNEY.
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00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,028
RICK PERRY AND MITT ROMNEY.
>> EIGHT PEOPLE ON THE STAGE
157
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,797
>> EIGHT PEOPLE ON THE STAGE
WE'RE REALLY ONLY PAYING
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00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:32,831
WE'RE REALLY ONLY PAYING
ATTENTION TONIGHT TO TWO.
159
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,699
ATTENTION TONIGHT TO TWO.
>> Jon: THANK YOU.
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00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,634
>> Jon: THANK YOU.
I KNEW I COULD IGNORE THOSE
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00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,301
I KNEW I COULD IGNORE THOSE
OTHER PEOPLE.
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00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,203
OTHER PEOPLE.
BY THE WAY, I KNOW IT WAS A
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00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:38,570
BY THE WAY, I KNOW IT WAS A
PREVIEW.
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00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,671
PREVIEW.
WHAT DID HAPPEN?
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00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,239
WHAT DID HAPPEN?
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY
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00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,407
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY
KICKING IT UP A NOTCH.
167
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,876
KICKING IT UP A NOTCH.
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY
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00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,011
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY
WENT AT IT.
169
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,413
WENT AT IT.
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY GO
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00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:49,681
>> MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY GO
FACE TO FACE.
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00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,882
FACE TO FACE.
>> IT WAS NOTHING BUT FIRE.
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00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,551
>> IT WAS NOTHING BUT FIRE.
>> AS W EXACTLY THE THING YOU
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00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,785
>> AS W EXACTLY THE THING YOU
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
174
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,186
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
175
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,821
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE'S ONLY TWO EXPLANATIONS
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00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,489
THERE'S ONLY TWO EXPLANATIONS
HOW THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
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00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,857
HOW THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
ONE FOUR MONTHS BEFORE ANY VOTE
178
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,324
ONE FOUR MONTHS BEFORE ANY VOTE
IS CAST.
179
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,626
IS CAST.
YOU DECIDE THE NOMINATION IS
180
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,029
YOU DECIDE THE NOMINATION IS
DOWN TO ROMNEY AND PERRY.
181
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,064
DOWN TO ROMNEY AND PERRY.
FRAME THE DEBATE BY PITTING THE
182
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:10,535
FRAME THE DEBATE BY PITTING THE
TWO AGAINST EACH OTHER OR YOUR
183
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:10,902
TWO AGAINST EACH OTHER OR YOUR
PRECOGS.
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00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,671
PRECOGS.
I'LL LET THE AUDIENCE AT HOME
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I'LL LET THE AUDIENCE AT HOME
DECIDE.
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00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:13,438
DECIDE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
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00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,507
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GOVERNOR ROMNEY, YOUR PRIVATE
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00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,710
>> GOVERNOR ROMNEY, YOUR PRIVATE
SECTOR EXPERIENCE AS GOVERNOR
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00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,713
SECTOR EXPERIENCE AS GOVERNOR
PERRY'S STRATEGIST RECENTLY PUT
190
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,882
PERRY'S STRATEGIST RECENTLY PUT
IT CONSISTED OF BEING QUOTE A
191
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,083
IT CONSISTED OF BEING QUOTE A
BUY OUT SPECIALIST.
192
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,118
BUY OUT SPECIALIST.
YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT?
193
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,321
YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT?
>> GOVERNOR PERRY YOU CLEARLY
194
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,055
>> GOVERNOR PERRY YOU CLEARLY
DON'T LIKE THE MASSACHUSETTS
195
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,690
DON'T LIKE THE MASSACHUSETTS
PLAN AS AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHER
196
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,023
PLAN AS AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHER
STATES.
197
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,294
STATES.
>> GOVERNOR PERRY A 30 SECOND
198
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:36,661
>> GOVERNOR PERRY A 30 SECOND
REBUTTAL.
199
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:41,133
REBUTTAL.
>> GOVERNOR --
200
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:43,602
>> GOVERNOR --
>> GOVERNOR PERRY HE SAID YOUR
201
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:46,371
>> GOVERNOR PERRY HE SAID YOUR
STATE IS FILLED WITH STEERS AND
202
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,672
STATE IS FILLED WITH STEERS AND
QUEERS, FEEL FREE TO ANSWER IN
203
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,974
QUEERS, FEEL FREE TO ANSWER IN
THE FORM OF PUNCHING.
204
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,509
THE FORM OF PUNCHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
205
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,544
[ LAUGHTER ]
MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF DEBATE
206
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,946
MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF DEBATE
CAME FROM NIECE NEWS AND
207
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,782
CAME FROM NIECE NEWS AND
THEIR -- NBC NEWS AND THEIR
208
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,449
THEIR -- NBC NEWS AND THEIR
DECISION TO DO.
209
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,619
DECISION TO DO.
THIS I WANT TO INTRODUCE ANOTHER
210
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,154
THIS I WANT TO INTRODUCE ANOTHER
COLLEAGUE OF OURS FROM OUR
211
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,790
COLLEAGUE OF OURS FROM OUR
SISTER NETWORK TELEMUNDO.
212
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:05,957
SISTER NETWORK TELEMUNDO.
>> PLEASE TELL ME HE DIDN'T
213
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,660
>> PLEASE TELL ME HE DIDN'T
BRING OUT A LATINO TO ASK A
214
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:09,628
BRING OUT A LATINO TO ASK A
LATINO BASED QUESTION.
215
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,230
LATINO BASED QUESTION.
>> LET ME TALK ABOUT A SUBJECT
216
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,999
>> LET ME TALK ABOUT A SUBJECT
DEAR TO THE HEART OF PRESIDENT
217
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:17,302
DEAR TO THE HEART OF PRESIDENT
REAGAN WHICH WAS IMMIGRATION
218
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:17,636
REAGAN WHICH WAS IMMIGRATION
REFORM.
219
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:18,069
REFORM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
220
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:18,403
[ LAUGHTER ]
(bleep).
221
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,105
(bleep).
>> Jon: CAN'T WE GO THE WHOLE
222
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:20,439
>> Jon: CAN'T WE GO THE WHOLE
WAY?
223
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,574
WAY?
CAN'T WE AT LEAST GET A GUY WITH
224
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,942
CAN'T WE AT LEAST GET A GUY WITH
AN ACCENT.
225
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,944
AN ACCENT.
I SHALL DIRECT MY FIRST
226
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,712
I SHALL DIRECT MY FIRST
IMMIGRATION QUESTION --
227
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:28,513
IMMIGRATION QUESTION --
[ LAUGHTER ]
228
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:31,183
[ LAUGHTER ]
-- TO GRINGO NUMBER ONE.
229
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:32,017
-- TO GRINGO NUMBER ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
230
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,019
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK, ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUT HERE.
231
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,020
LOOK, ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUT HERE.
HE'S OUT HERE NOW.
232
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:38,290
HE'S OUT HERE NOW.
WE'RE HAVING THE DEBATE.
233
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,692
WE'RE HAVING THE DEBATE.
AT LEAST THEY LET THE GUY JOIN
234
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,259
AT LEAST THEY LET THE GUY JOIN
THE CONVERSATION.
235
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,463
THE CONVERSATION.
>> TO MY COLLEAGUE JOSE DIAZ.
236
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,965
>> TO MY COLLEAGUE JOSE DIAZ.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
237
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,800
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> OH, YES, SO SOON.
238
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,735
>> OH, YES, SO SOON.
I WILL LEAVE, SURE.
239
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,037
I WILL LEAVE, SURE.
OKAY.
240
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,440
OKAY.
YES, YOU'RE RIGHT I GOT MY
241
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:58,210
YES, YOU'RE RIGHT I GOT MY
ANSWER ON IMMIGRATION.
242
00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:02,781
ANSWER ON IMMIGRATION.
AND I WOULD STAY BUT
243
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:03,181
AND I WOULD STAY BUT
OBVIOUSLY --
244
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:03,582
OBVIOUSLY --
[ LAUGHTER ]
245
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,350
[ LAUGHTER ]
-- THERE IS NO THIRD CHAIR.
246
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:09,154
-- THERE IS NO THIRD CHAIR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
247
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:14,025
[ LAUGHTER ]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
248
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,494
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
249
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,462
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.
250
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,866
>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.
ASç YOU KNOW, LAST NIGHT'S
251
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,735
ASç YOU KNOW, LAST NIGHT'S
REPUBLICAN DEBATE WAS RICK PERRY
252
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,470
REPUBLICAN DEBATE WAS RICK PERRY
V MITT ROMNEY AS YOU KNOW WHEN
253
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,039
V MITT ROMNEY AS YOU KNOW WHEN
THERE IS CONFLICT, THERE IS A
254
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:28,640
THERE IS CONFLICT, THERE IS A
WINNER AND A LOSER.
255
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,977
WINNER AND A LOSER.
>> THE REAL HEADLINE TONIGHT IS
256
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,779
>> THE REAL HEADLINE TONIGHT IS
ROMNEY LIVES BECAUSE -- BECAUSE
257
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,781
ROMNEY LIVES BECAUSE -- BECAUSE
PERRY FAILED.
258
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,618
PERRY FAILED.
>> INTELLECTUALLY MITT ROMNEY
259
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,986
>> INTELLECTUALLY MITT ROMNEY
GOT THE BETTER OF HIM.
260
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,754
GOT THE BETTER OF HIM.
>> ROMNEY WAS MORE STATESMAN
261
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:43,255
>> ROMNEY WAS MORE STATESMAN
LIKE.
262
00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,190
LIKE.
>> RICK PERRY IS ASKING FOR
263
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,224
>> RICK PERRY IS ASKING FOR
TROUBLE WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT
264
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,526
TROUBLE WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT
SOCIAL SECURITY THE WAY HE DID.
265
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,195
SOCIAL SECURITY THE WAY HE DID.
>> BY EMBRACING THE PONZI IDEA
266
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,930
>> BY EMBRACING THE PONZI IDEA
HE DESTROYED HIS CANDIDACY.
267
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,331
HE DESTROYED HIS CANDIDACY.
>> CALLING SOCIAL SECURITY A
268
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,667
>> CALLING SOCIAL SECURITY A
PONZI SCHEME USING OTHER WORDS.
269
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:56,735
PONZI SCHEME USING OTHER WORDS.
I THINK THAT'S THE LEAD IN THE
270
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,403
I THINK THAT'S THE LEAD IN THE
"NEW YORK TIMES" TOMORROW, I
271
00:08:58,405 --> 00:08:58,770
"NEW YORK TIMES" TOMORROW, I
WOULD BET.
272
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,639
WOULD BET.
>> Jon: OH, "THE NEW YORK
273
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:00,972
>> Jon: OH, "THE NEW YORK
TIMES".
274
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,908
TIMES".
MY GUEST IS RICK PERRY WILL BE
275
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:06,011
MY GUEST IS RICK PERRY WILL BE
SERIOUS WILL THEIR -- FURIOUS
276
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,880
SERIOUS WILL THEIR -- FURIOUS
WITH THEIR EDITORIAL BOARD AS HE
277
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:13,451
WITH THEIR EDITORIAL BOARD AS HE
PER RUSES IT OVER --
278
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:13,852
PER RUSES IT OVER --
[ LAUGHTER ]
279
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,954
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE DESTROYED HIS CANDIDACY IN
280
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,757
HE DESTROYED HIS CANDIDACY IN
THE PONZI SCHEME COMMENT AND THE
281
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,525
THE PONZI SCHEME COMMENT AND THE
PART WHERE HE SAYS SOCIAL
282
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,394
PART WHERE HE SAYS SOCIAL
SECURITY IS BROKEN AND MUST BE
283
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,628
SECURITY IS BROKEN AND MUST BE
FIXED EVEN THOUGH MOST PEOPLE
284
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,497
FIXED EVEN THOUGH MOST PEOPLE
VOTING IN THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY
285
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,032
VOTING IN THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY
AGREE WITH HIM.
286
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,900
AGREE WITH HIM.
THIS IS NOT A RACE FOR THE
287
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,635
THIS IS NOT A RACE FOR THE
PRESIDENCY OF PUBDITYTOWN.
288
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:31,636
PRESIDENCY OF PUBDITYTOWN.
MEDIA YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT
289
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,538
MEDIA YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT
THIS WITH THE WRONG PART OF YOUR
290
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,639
THIS WITH THE WRONG PART OF YOUR
BRAIN, THE BRAIN PART.
291
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:35,040
BRAIN, THE BRAIN PART.
[ LAUGHTER ]
292
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:39,444
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY WERE SURE THAT PERRY MADE A
293
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:46,952
THEY WERE SURE THAT PERRY MADE A
DEVASTATING CONCEPTUAL ERROR AND
294
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,653
DEVASTATING CONCEPTUAL ERROR AND
THE AUDIENCE WOULD REBUKE HIM
295
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,656
THE AUDIENCE WOULD REBUKE HIM
FOR HIS GAFFE.
296
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,525
FOR HIS GAFFE.
REAGAN LIBRARY AIN'T A READING
297
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:53,858
REAGAN LIBRARY AIN'T A READING
LIBRARY.
298
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,427
LIBRARY.
>> A QUESTION ABOUT TEXAS, YOUR
299
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:59,564
>> A QUESTION ABOUT TEXAS, YOUR
STATE HAS EXECUTED 234 DEATH ROW
300
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,533
STATE HAS EXECUTED 234 DEATH ROW
INMATES MORE THAN ANY OTHER
301
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,368
INMATES MORE THAN ANY OTHER
GOVERNOR IN MODERN TIMES.
302
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,203
GOVERNOR IN MODERN TIMES.
[ APPLAUSE ]
303
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,973
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jon: THE BIGGEST APPLAUSE
304
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:12,410
>> Jon: THE BIGGEST APPLAUSE
LINE OF THE NIGHT WAS THE MERE
305
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:16,348
LINE OF THE NIGHT WAS THE MERE
MENTION THAT RICK PERRY HAD
306
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,516
MENTION THAT RICK PERRY HAD
EXECUTED 234 PEOPLE.
307
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,451
EXECUTED 234 PEOPLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
308
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,921
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOLY (bleep) BALL!
309
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,023
HOLY (bleep) BALL!
BY THE WAY, LIKE SOME OF THEM
310
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,958
BY THE WAY, LIKE SOME OF THEM
MAY BE INNOCENT BUT LOOK AT THE
311
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,292
MAY BE INNOCENT BUT LOOK AT THE
CROWD.
312
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,027
CROWD.
THEY ARE NOT YAHOOS.
313
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:32,297
THEY ARE NOT YAHOOS.
THIS IS NOT YOUR TORTURED PITCH
314
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,833
THIS IS NOT YOUR TORTURED PITCH
FORK ANGRY -- THESE ARE PEOPLE
315
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,601
FORK ANGRY -- THESE ARE PEOPLE
WITH FIRM OPINIONS ON WHICH IS
316
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,703
WITH FIRM OPINIONS ON WHICH IS
THE BEST BRAND OF RIDING MOWER.
317
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,538
THE BEST BRAND OF RIDING MOWER.
THE AUDIENCE OF THIS DEBATE WERE
318
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,341
THE AUDIENCE OF THIS DEBATE WERE
THE PEOPLE WHO GIVE OUT RAISINS
319
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,076
THE PEOPLE WHO GIVE OUT RAISINS
ON HALLOWEEN.
320
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:49,948
ON HALLOWEEN.
THEY OWN THE BLIND SIDE ON DVD
321
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,283
THEY OWN THE BLIND SIDE ON DVD
AND YET -- WILLIAMS DOESN'T EVEN
322
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,752
AND YET -- WILLIAMS DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT TO DO OF THIS?
323
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,220
KNOW WHAT TO DO OF THIS?
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS
324
00:10:55,222 --> 00:11:00,325
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS
DYNAMIC THAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?
325
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,361
DYNAMIC THAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?
THE MENTION OF EXECUTIONS OF 234
326
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,562
THE MENTION OF EXECUTIONS OF 234
PEOPLE DRAW APPLAUSE.
327
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,398
PEOPLE DRAW APPLAUSE.
>> IN TEXAS OUR PEOPLE MADE IT
328
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:06,965
>> IN TEXAS OUR PEOPLE MADE IT
CLEAR.
329
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,199
CLEAR.
THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO COMMIT
330
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,368
THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO COMMIT
THOSE CRIMES AGAINST OUR
331
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,536
THOSE CRIMES AGAINST OUR
CITIZENS AND IF YOU DO, YOU WILL
332
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,705
CITIZENS AND IF YOU DO, YOU WILL
FACE THE ULTIMATE JUSTICE.
333
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,707
FACE THE ULTIMATE JUSTICE.
>> Jon: I'M FROM JERSEY, WE
334
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,476
>> Jon: I'M FROM JERSEY, WE
DON'T WANT PEOPLE KILLING US
335
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,377
DON'T WANT PEOPLE KILLING US
EITHER.
336
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:24,282
EITHER.
WE DON'T KILL EVERYBODY WHO
337
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:24,582
WE DON'T KILL EVERYBODY WHO
MIGHT.
338
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,585
MIGHT.
I HAVE THE WORDS ULTIMATE AND
339
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,721
I HAVE THE WORDS ULTIMATE AND
JUSTICE TATTOOED ACROSS MY
340
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:30,121
JUSTICE TATTOOED ACROSS MY
KNUCKLES.
341
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,523
KNUCKLES.
SURE I HAD TO DOUBLE UP ON SOME
342
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:34,259
SURE I HAD TO DOUBLE UP ON SOME
OF THE LETTERS BECAUSE THE
343
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:39,330
OF THE LETTERS BECAUSE THE
NUMBER TOLL LEER RATIO IT
344
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,899
NUMBER TOLL LEER RATIO IT
DOESN'T -- BECAUSE THE KNUCKLE
345
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,334
DOESN'T -- BECAUSE THE KNUCKLE
TO LETTER RATIO DOESN'T WORK OUT
346
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:43,702
TO LETTER RATIO DOESN'T WORK OUT
PERFECT.
347
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,770
PERFECT.
I CAN'T PROMISE YOU THAT JUSTICE
348
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,640
I CAN'T PROMISE YOU THAT JUSTICE
IS SPELLED 100% CORRECT BUT I
349
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:51,409
IS SPELLED 100% CORRECT BUT I
STAND BY THE SENTIMENT.
350
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,678
STAND BY THE SENTIMENT.
RAV LAUGH A SOPHISTICATED AND
351
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,313
RAV LAUGH A SOPHISTICATED AND
PRESIDENTIAL ROMNEY HAS NO IDEA
352
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,115
PRESIDENTIAL ROMNEY HAS NO IDEA
HOW TO CONNECT WITH THESE
353
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,317
HOW TO CONNECT WITH THESE
PEOPLE.
354
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,452
PEOPLE.
IN THE TEA PARTY.
355
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:02,420
IN THE TEA PARTY.
I BELIEVE IN A LOT OF WHAT THE
356
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,289
I BELIEVE IN A LOT OF WHAT THE
TEA PARTY BELIEVES IN.
357
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,357
TEA PARTY BELIEVES IN.
I PUT TOGETHER A PLAN OF HOW TO
358
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,460
I PUT TOGETHER A PLAN OF HOW TO
GET THE ECONOMY GOING AGAIN.
359
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:10,929
GET THE ECONOMY GOING AGAIN.
TEA PARTY PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
360
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:11,329
TEA PARTY PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
361
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,265
[ LAUGHTER ]
>>ç Jon: NOW, HERE IS PERRY.
362
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:17,602
>>ç Jon: NOW, HERE IS PERRY.
>> I HATE CANCER.
363
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,971
>> I HATE CANCER.
>> Jon: OH, (bleep).
364
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,008
>> Jon: OH, (bleep).
I HATE CANCER, ROMNEY YOU JUST
365
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,178
I HATE CANCER, ROMNEY YOU JUST
GOT RICK ROLLED (bleep).
366
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,346
GOT RICK ROLLED (bleep).
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
367
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,582
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
THIS IS WHY THIS MAN IS
368
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:30,982
THIS IS WHY THIS MAN IS
FORMIDABLE.
369
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:31,916
FORMIDABLE.
REPUBLICANS HAVE A CHOICE
370
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,153
REPUBLICANS HAVE A CHOICE
BETWEEN A GUY WITH A MULTIPOINT
371
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:38,556
BETWEEN A GUY WITH A MULTIPOINT
FACT BASED PLAN THAT HE THINKS
372
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,258
FACT BASED PLAN THAT HE THINKS
CAN GET THE ECONOMY GOING OR A
373
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:44,562
CAN GET THE ECONOMY GOING OR A
GUY THAT CAN PUNCH (bleep) IN
374
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,230
GUY THAT CAN PUNCH (bleep) IN
THE FACE.
375
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,665
THE FACE.
YOU ARE UP AGAINST SOMETHING YOU
376
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,701
YOU ARE UP AGAINST SOMETHING YOU
ARE TOO SMART TO UNDERSTAND.
377
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,970
ARE TOO SMART TO UNDERSTAND.
LET ME BREAK IT DOWN SO YOU CAN
378
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,139
LET ME BREAK IT DOWN SO YOU CAN
GUT IT.
379
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:57,575
GUT IT.
HE ACTIVATES A NEURO IND CRIN
380
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,912
HE ACTIVATES A NEURO IND CRIN
REACTION AS A HOT WAVE OF
381
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:07,952
REACTION AS A HOT WAVE OF
IMPULSES STIMULATING THE LIMB
382
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:08,486
IMPULSES STIMULATING THE LIMB
LIMBLYMBIC SYSTEM.
383
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,355
LIMBLYMBIC SYSTEM.
YOU DON'T GET RICK PERRY HERE.
384
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,490
YOU DON'T GET RICK PERRY HERE.
YOU GET HIM HERE!
385
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,057
YOU GET HIM HERE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
386
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,359
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MITT ROMNEY --
387
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:15,093
MITT ROMNEY --
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
388
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,561
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I HAVE TO DO THAT MORE OFTEN.
389
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,863
I HAVE TO DO THAT MORE OFTEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
390
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,532
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S QUITE PLEASANT.
391
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,032
THAT'S QUITE PLEASANT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
392
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:28,807
[ LAUGHTER ]
MITT ROMNEY IS RALPH LAUREN,
393
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:32,644
MITT ROMNEY IS RALPH LAUREN,
RICK PERRY IS THE PHEROMONE OF
394
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:36,181
RICK PERRY IS THE PHEROMONE OF
THE SRI LANKAN TIGER SEEM YEN.
395
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,582
THE SRI LANKAN TIGER SEEM YEN.
GET READY DEMOCRATS BECAUSE THAT
396
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:42,320
GET READY DEMOCRATS BECAUSE THAT
IS THE HOMBRE YOU ARE UP
397
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:42,687
IS THE HOMBRE YOU ARE UP
AGAINST.
398
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,756
AGAINST.
>> I THINK THE DNC SHOULD TAKE
399
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:45,924
>> I THINK THE DNC SHOULD TAKE
THE SOCIAL SECURITY LINE OF MR.
400
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,258
THE SOCIAL SECURITY LINE OF MR.
PERRY AND ATTACK ON SOCIAL
401
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,726
PERRY AND ATTACK ON SOCIAL
SECURITY AND THE PONZI SCHEME
402
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,595
SECURITY AND THE PONZI SCHEME
AND PUT OUT BUMPER STICKERS
403
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,664
AND PUT OUT BUMPER STICKERS
SAYING IT'S NOT OBAMA IT'S ABOUT
404
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:56,167
SAYING IT'S NOT OBAMA IT'S ABOUT
YOUR MAMA AND WE'LL WIN.
405
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,435
YOUR MAMA AND WE'LL WIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
406
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:02,073
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jon: WHAT?
407
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,843
>> Jon: WHAT?
WE CONCLUDE OUR SECOND
408
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:12,517
WE CONCLUDE OUR SECOND
INSTALLMENT OF OH[CHEERS AND AP]
409
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,854
INSTALLMENT OF OH[CHEERS AND AP]
>> Jon: MY GUEST TONIGHT,
410
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,022
>> Jon: MY GUEST TONIGHT,
ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS.
411
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:22,861
ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS.
HER NEW FILM IS CALLED
412
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:23,294
HER NEW FILM IS CALLED
"CONTAGION".
413
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,095
"CONTAGION".
>> THAT'S HIM.
414
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,164
>> THAT'S HIM.
I CAN SHOW YOU THE UKRAINIAN
415
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,832
I CAN SHOW YOU THE UKRAINIAN
WOMAN IN THE SECURITY CAMERA IN
416
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,567
WOMAN IN THE SECURITY CAMERA IN
THE ELEVATOR GOING BACK TO HER
417
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,736
THE ELEVATOR GOING BACK TO HER
ROOM 0 MINUTES EARLIER.
418
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,404
ROOM 0 MINUTES EARLIER.
SHE WAS GONE.
419
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,841
SHE WAS GONE.
IT CAME FROM HERE.
420
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,611
IT CAME FROM HERE.
AND THE PATIENT SHE WENT BEFORE
421
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:40,178
AND THE PATIENT SHE WENT BEFORE
THE CASINO.
422
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,414
THE CASINO.
>> I WANT TO SEE HER EYE
423
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,549
>> I WANT TO SEE HER EYE
CONTINUE RAREY AGAIN.
424
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,984
CONTINUE RAREY AGAIN.
>> THEY SAY THE FRENCH AND
425
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,453
>> THEY SAY THE FRENCH AND
AMERICANS HAVE A CURE AT
426
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,189
AMERICANS HAVE A CURE AT
MANUFACTURING IN SECRET.
427
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,557
MANUFACTURING IN SECRET.
THEY KNOW WE'RE IN BED WITH THE
428
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:52,924
THEY KNOW WE'RE IN BED WITH THE
AMERICANS.
429
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,325
AMERICANS.
>> GO AHEAD.
430
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,493
>> GO AHEAD.
>> THE INTERNET.
431
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:56,928
>> THE INTERNET.
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT (bleep)
432
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,731
>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT (bleep)
WE HAVE THE CURE.
433
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:04,869
WE HAVE THE CURE.
MR. PRESIDENT WELCOME -- PLEASE
434
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:05,803
MR. PRESIDENT WELCOME -- PLEASE
WELCOME MARION COTILLARD.
435
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,740
WELCOME MARION COTILLARD.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
436
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,108
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HOW ARE YOU?
437
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:10,675
HOW ARE YOU?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
438
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,409
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
VERY NICE TO SEE YOU.
439
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:15,647
VERY NICE TO SEE YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
440
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:16,514
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HOW ARE YOU?
441
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,216
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
442
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,984
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jon: SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
443
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,319
>> Jon: SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> SO NICE TO SEE YOU,nb TOO.
444
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,321
>> SO NICE TO SEE YOU,nb TOO.
>> Jon: THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
445
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,089
>> Jon: THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE.
446
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,624
>> I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE.
>> Jon: THE TAG LINE OF THE
447
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,460
>> Jon: THE TAG LINE OF THE
FILM IS DON'T TALK TO ANYONE,
448
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,428
FILM IS DON'T TALK TO ANYONE,
DON'T TOUCH ANYONE.
449
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,897
DON'T TOUCH ANYONE.
I'M SURE YOU DON'T KNOW THIS,
450
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,366
I'M SURE YOU DON'T KNOW THIS,
THAT IS ACTUALLY THE MOTTO OF
451
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,201
THAT IS ACTUALLY THE MOTTO OF
NEWç YORK SUBWAY SYSTEM.
452
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:37,602
NEWç YORK SUBWAY SYSTEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
453
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,671
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE IT IN LATIN RIGHT
454
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:40,905
WE HAVE IT IN LATIN RIGHT
OVER --
455
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,473
OVER --
>> DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING EITHER
456
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:46,778
>> DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING EITHER
BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY
457
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:47,111
BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY
ANYONE.
458
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,414
ANYONE.
>> Jon: HAS THIS EFFECTED --
459
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:53,084
>> Jon: HAS THIS EFFECTED --
HAVE YOU IN ANYWAY GERMO PHOBIC
460
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:57,422
HAVE YOU IN ANYWAY GERMO PHOBIC
OR A BIT OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC?
461
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,489
OR A BIT OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
462
00:15:58,491 --> 00:15:59,958
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jon: I AM AS WELL.
463
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,592
>> Jon: I AM AS WELL.
>> WE SHARE THAT.
464
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,695
>> WE SHARE THAT.
THAT'S WHY WE DON'T TOUCH EACH
465
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:03,995
THAT'S WHY WE DON'T TOUCH EACH
OTHER.
466
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,563
OTHER.
>> Jon: WHEN THEY BROUGHT YOU
467
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,131
>> Jon: WHEN THEY BROUGHT YOU
A SCRIPT ABOUT DISEASE DID YOU
468
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,700
A SCRIPT ABOUT DISEASE DID YOU
THINK TO YOURSELF AT ANY POINT
469
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:12,103
THINK TO YOURSELF AT ANY POINT
THIS IS GOING TO SCARE JON
470
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:12,470
THIS IS GOING TO SCARE JON
STEWART?
471
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:12,870
STEWART?
[ LAUGHTER ]
472
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,907
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, HONESTLY, NO.
473
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:19,177
>> WELL, HONESTLY, NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
474
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,879
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT NEXT TIME I READ ANY SCRIPT
475
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,849
BUT NEXT TIME I READ ANY SCRIPT
I WILL THINK ABOUT YOU OR WHAT
476
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,451
I WILL THINK ABOUT YOU OR WHAT
MIGHT SCARE OR WHAT YOU MIGHT
477
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:26,784
MIGHT SCARE OR WHAT YOU MIGHT
LOVE --
478
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,252
LOVE --
>> Jon: IT'S ALMOST
479
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:28,653
>> Jon: IT'S ALMOST
EVERYTHING.
480
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,087
EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
481
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:29,420
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WOW.
482
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,222
>> WOW.
>> Jon: IT'S NOT EASY BEING
483
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:31,589
>> Jon: IT'S NOT EASY BEING
ME.
484
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,492
ME.
>> LIKE EVEN COMEDY?
485
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,393
>> LIKE EVEN COMEDY?
EVERYTHING SCARES YOU.
486
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,628
EVERYTHING SCARES YOU.
>> Jon: COMEDY IS THE WORST,
487
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,296
>> Jon: COMEDY IS THE WORST,
QUITE FRANKLY.
488
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,964
QUITE FRANKLY.
ESPECIALLY THE CRAZY BAD ONES,
489
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,199
ESPECIALLY THE CRAZY BAD ONES,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
490
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,400
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.
491
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,570
THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.
>> I LOVE THEM.
492
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,971
>> I LOVE THEM.
OH, MY GOD.
493
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,474
OH, MY GOD.
WILL FERRELL IS MY GOD.
494
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,676
WILL FERRELL IS MY GOD.
>> Jon: YOU SAID YOUR GOD OR
495
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,643
>> Jon: YOU SAID YOUR GOD OR
YOUR GUY?
496
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,479
YOUR GUY?
>> GOD!
497
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,881
>> GOD!
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH.
498
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,683
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH.
>> Jon: THAT'S AWESOME.
499
00:16:58,685 --> 00:16:59,484
>> Jon: THAT'S AWESOME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
500
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,518
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW FUNNY IS THAT GUY?
501
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,854
HOW FUNNY IS THAT GUY?
HE CAME OUT HERE FOR AN
502
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,722
HE CAME OUT HERE FOR AN
INTERVIEW ONCE --
503
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,625
INTERVIEW ONCE --
>> WITH A BASEBALL --
504
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,194
>> WITH A BASEBALL --
>> Jon: WITH A BASEBALL BAT.
505
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:10,795
>> Jon: WITH A BASEBALL BAT.
>> BASEBALL BAT.
506
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,431
>> BASEBALL BAT.
>> Jon: YOU ARE ACTING LIKE I
507
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,432
>> Jon: YOU ARE ACTING LIKE I
SAID IT WRONG?
508
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,233
SAID IT WRONG?
>> SORRY.
509
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,701
>> SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
510
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,271
I'M SORRY.
OH, MY GOSH.
511
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,106
OH, MY GOSH.
CAN WE DO THAT?
512
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:26,878
CAN WE DO THAT?
DO YOU THINK WE CAN?
513
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:27,612
DO YOU THINK WE CAN?
AVIAN FLU.
514
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,180
AVIAN FLU.
>> Jon: I LOVE THOSE GUYS.
515
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,015
>> Jon: I LOVE THOSE GUYS.
I DON'T GET TO SEE THEM ENOUGH
516
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,118
I DON'T GET TO SEE THEM ENOUGH
BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS HERE
517
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,286
BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS HERE
INTERVIEWING PEOPLE WHO HAVE
518
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,255
INTERVIEWING PEOPLE WHO HAVE
WRITTEN BOOKS ABOUT McKINLEY.
519
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,357
WRITTEN BOOKS ABOUT McKINLEY.
LIKE I GIVE A (bleep).
520
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,391
LIKE I GIVE A (bleep).
[ LAUGHTER ]
521
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,894
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT IS -- THIS TYPE OF THING,
522
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:46,864
WHAT IS -- THIS TYPE OF THING,
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE A GREAT
523
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,699
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE A GREAT
ACTRESS, YOU START TO RESEARCH A
524
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:49,000
ACTRESS, YOU START TO RESEARCH A
ROLE.
525
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,601
ROLE.
AS YOU DO IT, DO YOU GET MORE
526
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,503
AS YOU DO IT, DO YOU GET MORE
COME FOR THED BY THE KNOWLEDGE
527
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,271
COME FOR THED BY THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT -- COMFORTED BY THE
528
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,939
THAT -- COMFORTED BY THE
KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU GET OR MORE
529
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:58,743
KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU GET OR MORE
FRAYED BY THE KNOWLEDGE YOU GET.
530
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,477
FRAYED BY THE KNOWLEDGE YOU GET.
THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION,
531
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,711
THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION,
YOU PROBABLY TALKED TO THEM RED
532
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,880
YOU PROBABLY TALKED TO THEM RED
SOX YOU MORE COMFORTED FROM
533
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,882
SOX YOU MORE COMFORTED FROM
TALKING TO THEM OR MORE NERVOUS?
534
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,685
TALKING TO THEM OR MORE NERVOUS?
>> IN THAT CASE TALKING TO THOSE
535
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,920
>> IN THAT CASE TALKING TO THOSE
PEOPLE AND NOT TALKING TO THEM
536
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,588
PEOPLE AND NOT TALKING TO THEM
AND KNOWING WHAT THEY DO WILL
537
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,223
AND KNOWING WHAT THEY DO WILL
NOT COMFORT ME BECAUSE IT
538
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,759
NOT COMFORT ME BECAUSE IT
DOESN'T -- EVEN THOUGH THEY TRY
539
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,729
DOESN'T -- EVEN THOUGH THEY TRY
TO HANDLE THE THING TO FIND THE
540
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:26,637
TO HANDLE THE THING TO FIND THE
ORIGIN AND TO CONTAIN THE
541
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,805
ORIGIN AND TO CONTAIN THE
DISEASE, IT'S THERE.
542
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:28,706
DISEASE, IT'S THERE.
>> THE DISEASE IS THERE?
543
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:29,407
>> THE DISEASE IS THERE?
>> YEAH.
544
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,209
>> YEAH.
>> IT DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU ARE.
545
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,044
>> IT DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU ARE.
WHAT WAS VERY INTERESTING WAS
546
00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:37,715
WHAT WAS VERY INTERESTING WAS
THE PEOPLE I SPOKE WITH AT WHO
547
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,418
THE PEOPLE I SPOKE WITH AT WHO
WAS HOW THEY HANDLE IT.
548
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,552
WAS HOW THEY HANDLE IT.
ARE THEY SCARED.
549
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,254
ARE THEY SCARED.
>> Jon: WHAT IS YOUR SENSE OF
550
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:43,521
>> Jon: WHAT IS YOUR SENSE OF
IT?
551
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,859
IT?
>> THEY ARE TRAINED TO HAVE COLD
552
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:48,159
>> THEY ARE TRAINED TO HAVE COLD
BLOOD.
553
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,594
BLOOD.
DO YOU HAVE HAVE THIS
554
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,329
DO YOU HAVE HAVE THIS
EXPRESSION, MAYBE NOT.
555
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,464
EXPRESSION, MAYBE NOT.
>> Jon: WE CALL THEM
556
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:53,965
>> Jon: WE CALL THEM
(bleep).
557
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,467
(bleep).
>> NO, NO, NO.
558
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,002
>> NO, NO, NO.
COLD BLOOD IS WHEN YOU --
559
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,739
COLD BLOOD IS WHEN YOU --
>> Jon:S IT'S TO INTERESTING
560
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,141
>> Jon:S IT'S TO INTERESTING
HOW THE WODS ARE DIFFERENT IN
561
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:03,474
HOW THE WODS ARE DIFFERENT IN
FRENCH.
562
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,643
FRENCH.
>> IT'S NOT (bleep) AT ALL.
563
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:05,943
>> IT'S NOT (bleep) AT ALL.
LIKE.
564
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,612
LIKE.
>> Jon: WHEN YOU SAY THAT
565
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,514
>> Jon: WHEN YOU SAY THAT
THERE'S A ROMANCE TO IT.
566
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,115
THERE'S A ROMANCE TO IT.
IT'S SOMETHING LIKE -- YOU COULD
567
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:14,986
IT'S SOMETHING LIKE -- YOU COULD
TELL ME IF I CUT YOU OFF IN THE
568
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,655
TELL ME IF I CUT YOU OFF IN THE
ItQEET AND YOU WERE LIKE
569
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,358
ItQEET AND YOU WERE LIKE
(bleep) I WOULD BE LIKE SHE'S
570
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,125
(bleep) I WOULD BE LIKE SHE'S
SO SWEET.
571
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,660
SO SWEET.
THEY ARE TRAINED NO TO DRAIN
572
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,094
THEY ARE TRAINED NO TO DRAIN
THE EMOTION.
573
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:23,728
THE EMOTION.
>> SCABLGHTLY.
574
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,063
>> SCABLGHTLY.
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL -- EXACTLY.
575
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:30,101
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL -- EXACTLY.
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL COLDç BLOO.
576
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,969
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL COLDç BLOO.
>> Jon: STOIC.
577
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:32,303
>> Jon: STOIC.
>> YES.
578
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,439
>> YES.
>> Jon: REPTILIAN.
579
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:35,806
>> Jon: REPTILIAN.
(bleep).
580
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,609
(bleep).
>> SORRY, GUYS, YOU HELPED ME A
581
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:38,910
>> SORRY, GUYS, YOU HELPED ME A
LOT.
582
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:41,579
LOT.
>> Jon: I KNOW WHAT IT BOILS
583
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,680
>> Jon: I KNOW WHAT IT BOILS
DOWN TO IN THE END.
584
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,749
DOWN TO IN THE END.
THIS IS FOR THE KIDS IN ANY OF
585
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,751
THIS IS FOR THE KIDS IN ANY OF
THESE MOVIES, DON'T HAVE SEX
586
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,686
THESE MOVIES, DON'T HAVE SEX
WITH WILD MONKEYS.
587
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,086
WITH WILD MONKEYS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
588
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,454
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF THERE WAS A TAKE AWAY FROM
589
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:53,724
IF THERE WAS A TAKE AWAY FROM
ANY OF THESE VIRUS MOVIES --
590
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,659
ANY OF THESE VIRUS MOVIES --
OBVIOUSLY FOR THE KIDS.
591
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,594
OBVIOUSLY FOR THE KIDS.
>> YEAH.
592
00:19:56,596 --> 00:20:01,465
>> YEAH.
WELL, I WOULD ADD ANY ANIMAL
593
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:01,832
WELL, I WOULD ADD ANY ANIMAL
BASICALLY.
594
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,466
BASICALLY.
WE ARE ALL ANIMALS.
595
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:05,036
WE ARE ALL ANIMALS.
>> Jon: YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FOR A
596
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,837
>> Jon: YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FOR A
WHILE TO SOUTH CAROLINA?
597
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,439
WHILE TO SOUTH CAROLINA?
>> WELL, NO.
598
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:13,377
>> WELL, NO.
>> Jon: "CONTAGION" I GET IN
599
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,946
>> Jon: "CONTAGION" I GET IN
TERRIBLE TROUBLE.
600
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:21,519
TERRIBLE TROUBLE.
"CONTAGION" IS IN[CHEERS AND AP]
601
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,119
"CONTAGION" IS IN[CHEERS AND AP]
>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
602
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:22,787
>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK AT 11:00.
603
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,589
JOIN US NEXT WEEK AT 11:00.
BY THE WAY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK
604
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,656
BY THE WAY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK
WHAT IS THE ADVANTAGE OF COMING
605
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,891
WHAT IS THE ADVANTAGE OF COMING
DOWN AND SEEING THE SHOW LIVE IN
606
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,426
DOWN AND SEEING THE SHOW LIVE IN
NEW YORK?
607
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,429
NEW YORK?
STAND AROUND ALL DAY IN A --
608
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:36,367
STAND AROUND ALL DAY IN A --
WHAT IS CLEARLY A GOD FORSAKEN
609
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,935
WHAT IS CLEARLY A GOD FORSAKEN
PART OF NEW YORK CITY WHERE AT
610
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:40,972
PART OF NEW YORK CITY WHERE AT
ANY MOMENT A PACK OF FERAL DOGS
611
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:43,808
ANY MOMENT A PACK OF FERAL DOGS
MAY DRAG AN OLD FRIEND OF YOURS
612
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,410
MAY DRAG AN OLD FRIEND OF YOURS
YOU MET UP WITH ON FOURSQUARE
613
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,479
YOU MET UP WITH ON FOURSQUARE
INTO AN ALLEY AND TEAR THEM TO
614
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,180
INTO AN ALLEY AND TEAR THEM TO
PIECES.
615
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,948
PIECES.
WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME?
616
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,550
WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME?
PERHAPS SOMETHING LIKE THIS, IF
617
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,819
PERHAPS SOMETHING LIKE THIS, IF
YOU COME TO THE SHOW YOU MAY GET
618
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:59,991
YOU COME TO THE SHOW YOU MAY GET
A FREE DVD COPY OF WAITE WYATT
619
00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:01,325
A FREE DVD COPY OF WAITE WYATT
CENAC COMEDY PERSON.
620
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,660
CENAC COMEDY PERSON.
YOU CAN BUY IT.
621
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,061
YOU CAN BUY IT.
SO COME ON DOWN.
622
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,663
SO COME ON DOWN.
THAT'S WHAT THE AUDIENCE GOT
623
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:05,997
THAT'S WHAT THE AUDIENCE GOT
TONIGHT.
624
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:07,865
TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THAT?
625
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,600
YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THAT?
YOU KNOW WHY I'M DOING IT?
626
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,069
YOU KNOW WHY I'M DOING IT?
I'LL TELL YOU WHY I'M DOING IT
627
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:15,006
I'LL TELL YOU WHY I'M DOING IT
BECAUSE WHEN OPRAH LEFT TV,
628
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:16,674
BECAUSE WHEN OPRAH LEFT TV,
SOMEBODY HAD TO FILL THE HOLE.
629
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,342
SOMEBODY HAD TO FILL THE HOLE.
HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT ZEN.
630
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:21,145
HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT ZEN.
>> VOTE BY TEXTING 2260, ONE FOR
631
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,581
>> VOTE BY TEXTING 2260, ONE FOR
THE JAPAN ENERGY CRISIS, TWO FOR
632
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:28,585
THE JAPAN ENERGY CRISIS, TWO FOR
THE